


I Didn't Mean It

by Lexys23



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-05 17:57:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15868791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexys23/pseuds/Lexys23
Summary: Camila sat back, a frown on her face. Lauren turned away, not wanting to see the heartbroken look on the girl's face."Y-you're pregnant?"Lauren nodded her head."Y-you cheated on me?"





	1. Part 1

Lauren looked at Camila. They were alone in the tour bus, Lauren asking her other band mates to give them space. There was something important Lauren had to talk about, and she wanted to be alone with Camila to do it.

Camila was staring at Lauren, a twinkle in her eyes. There was pure love in her eyes. The smile on her face could light up the whole world. Lauren started to feel sick. She could feel her stomach turn, as it had the last few days.

Camila and Lauren had been best friends from the moment they met at X-Factor. But as anyone expected with their friendship turned into a relationship. Three years later, they had been going strong.

"Are you still sick?" Camila asked, her happy face transforming into a worry one, but the love still there.

Lauren shook her head, not trusting her voice at the moment.

Camila ignored her answer and pressed her hand on the older girl's forehead. "You're not warm. Maybe it's a bug."

Lauren licked her lips. "Camila—"

"It's been a few days right?"

"Camila—"

"I think it's just the stomach flu, or food poisoning. See, I told you all the weird things you eat would catch up to you, but no, you had the iron stomach and could eat anything—"

"I'm pregnant!"

Silence.

Camila sat back, a frown on her face. Lauren turned away, not wanting to see the heartbroken look on the girl's face.

"Y-you're pregnant?"

Lauren nodded her head.

"Y-you cheated on me?"

"Cam—"

"You cheated on me? You slept with a guy and got pregnant? What I wasn't enough?"

"N-no, C-Camila—"

"No! You cheated on me! Nothing could justify that!"

"B-but—"

"Shut up! We're done. I am not going to be on a relationship with some slut," Camila snapped, angry tears in her eyes.

Lauren gave up trying to say her part. She just nodded, her own tears in her eyes.

"Don't talk to me. Unless it's an interview or for a show, you're dead to me, okay?" Camila continued, pure rage in her voice.

"Okay," Lauren whispered, staring at her hands.

Camila nodded her head and stormed away. Lauren watched her leave.

And that was that. The other girls soon found out what had happened, with the break-up, the cheating, and the pregnancy.

Of course the other girls took Camila's side. Not that Lauren expected anything different. All they knew was that Lauren had sex with some guy. Lauren had slept with someone who wasn't Camila. And she ended up pregnant. As the days passed by, the other girls would go about their days. They'd travel, perform and do interviews as they usually did.

A few weeks passed by, and Lauren's pregnancy was becoming evident. They had released a press release stating that Lauren was pregnant, but that she was still going to be performing until she couldn't anymore.

Lauren and Camila's break up had been confirmed before that. Many of their fans were devastated, and wanted to know why. They had loved Lauren and Camila together. They had loved to see their "secret" kisses during interviews. They'd love seeing Lauren stare at Camila as she talked and vice versa. They loved the couple.

With the press release of Lauren's pregnancy, the fans were able to connect the dots. Thus creating Lauren's cyber bullying. Lauren couldn't go online without being bombarded with hate. Many people were calling her a cheater, slut, whore, wishing for her to leave the band, wishing for her death and the death of her unborn baby for breaking Camila's heart. Lauren didn't quit social media. No, she felt like she deserved it. She was the idiot that—

No, she was just an idiot.

Lauren took it alone. She never went to anyone. She never told the other girls about how she was feeling. She didn't tell them about the comments, the posts even though she knew that they had seen them. They never asked about it, so she never went to them.

Why should they comfort her when they could comfort Camila? Camila, whose heart was shattered and cheated on because of her. It was her own fault. She was the one who cheated and now had to accept the consequences.

Lauren would room alone. The other girls told her that she had more to deal with and didn't need a roommate. Lauren knew the truth. She knew that none of the other girls could look at her. They had been around for Camila's tears, and Lauren was the cause of it.

Lauren groaned, as she felt pain. She could feel the tears in her eyes as she felt a throbbing pain down below. She bit her lip as she tried to move past it.

-

Dinah was sent to tell Lauren that they were going out for breakfast. Each girl would go alert Lauren about breakfast but the green-eyed girl would always tell who ever it was that she was okay. That she was going to call room service and Camila wouldn't want her there anyways. She'd always smile and let out a small laugh.

Now that Dinah thought about, she hadn't really seen Lauren eat, and the girl was eating for two. Dinah felt a tug in her heart. She knew that everyone was ignoring Lauren. They were all worried about Camila that Lauren had slipped out of their heads. No one had taken the time to check on the pregnant girl.

Dinah knocked on the door. She could hear soft sobbing, but received no response. Dinah knocked again, worried this time.

Dinah reached into her pocket, getting the extra key card out. Even though Lauren was alone, Ally always made sure they had the extra key for her room.

Dinah slid the key in and stormed inside. Dinah's heart broke as she saw the image in front of her.

Lauren was standing next to the bed, her hands trembling as she grabbed onto the edge of covers, pulling them off the bed. Dinah looked over to see a big red spot. Dinah felt a cold shiver go down her spine as she really looked at Lauren.

The older girl's eyes were red and filled with tears. Her trembling took over her body, as she continued to pull at the covers. Dinah's eyes shifted lower to see Lauren's uncovered thighs smeared with blood.

Dinah took a step forward, a bit hesitant. "L-Lauren?"

"I-I'll clean this up. I-I'm sorry," Lauren stuttered, her eyes shifting from Dinah to the bed.

"No, Lauren, we have to go to the hospital," Dinah whispered, not wanting to scare the girl.

"B-But I made a mess. I-I have to clean this," Lauren continued, shaking her head.

Dinah felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She quickly answered it.

" _Dinah? What did she say?_ "she heard Ally ask.

Dinah kept her eye on Lauren, who seemed lost. "Y-you need to come here,  _now._ "

" _Is something wrong? Is Lauren okay?_ " Ally asked, as Dinah heard Ally walk.

"She's not okay," Dinah whispered, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

She heard a small knock. She quickly rushed to open it. She let Ally inside. She let the girl look at Lauren. She heard the gasp.

Dinah turned to look at Ally, who had tears in her eyes. Ally looked to Dinah. "We have to get her to the hospital."

"I was trying. She doesn't want to go," Dinah whispered back.

"Let the other's know that we have a change in plans. I'll get her changed," Ally told her.

Dinah nodded. She took out her phone and texted Normani, telling her that they couldn't go to breakfast, that they think something happened to Lauren's baby. Of course the message caused mass worry as Normani texted back that she and Camila was going with them.

Dinah looked to Ally and Lauren to see them standing there. Lauren had sweats and a jacket on. Her hands were trembling, as Ally had her arm around her waist.

"Ready?" Dinah asked, her eyes still on Lauren.

Ally nodded and gently pushed Lauren forward. They met the other girls in the hallway as they headed to the hospital.


	2. Part 2 (Orignal)

It had been a few days since finding out Lauren had lost her baby. Lauren hadn't been eating well, she wasn't sleeping well, she was stressed out during her short pregnancy. It was too much for her body to handle. It couldn't hold onto another body, so it got rid of it to save itself.

Camila didn't know what to feel about it. And no one blamed her. Camila still acted like Lauren didn't exist.

Well, she tried to act like Lauren didn't exist. It was tough. When all anyone talked about was Lauren, worried about what she was feeling, if she was eating, sleeping, taking care of herself. But Camila was okay with it. Lauren needed it. And no matter how much Camila was angry, she couldn't help but worry just like everyone else.

Ever since they returned from the hospital, Lauren would stay in her bunk and sleep all day. It was like she had no reason to live, and it scared Camila a bit. And she wasn't the only one.

Camila wasn't going to lie. She had seen how destroyed Lauren was after the break up. She saw how sad Lauren had become, but that was Lauren's own fault. She was the one who cheated. She was the one who had unprotected sex.

"Can you make sure Lauren eats this?" Ally asked, handing Dinah a plate.

The young girl nodded and went to the bunk area.

Being the one who first to find Lauren that day, Dinah took it upon herself to make sure Lauren was taking care of herself. She'd check on the older girl in the middle of the night, she would bring her her food, she would ask how the girl was feeling. She was her protector of some sorts.

The remaining three girls took a seat at the table. They ate in silence, the only sound being Dinah begging Lauren to eat.

Camila looked up at her friends, to see somber looks on their faces. "Lauren cheated on me."

Ally and Normani looked up, confused. "We know."

"Do you remember the night?" Camila questioned, staring at her friends.

Normani nodded her head. It was after a show. They decided to go to a party, where most of them drank. Camila, not wanting to be party, had left early. The other four girls stays behind.

"We had split up. I remember seeing Lauren at the bar, drinking. Some guy was bugging her," Ally muttered, a frown on her face.

"I-I think I remember Lauren coming up to me, telling me she didn't feel good and wanted to go home. I was busy flirting with this guy. I think I told her to sit somewhere and that we'd go home later," Normani continued, tears welling up in her eyes.

Camila could feel her blood turn cold.

"Wh-what happened after?" Camila questioned, a frown on her face.

"I didn't see her until the next day, when we all went to breakfast. We all know how she was that morning," Normani whispered.

Lauren was quiet. She told them she wasn't hungry, and seemed to barely be holding herself. But it wasn't as noticeable. But it was different.

Camila remembered that morning. "She wouldn't talk to me. I thought she was mad that I left. B-but she's been mad at me before, and it, it was never like that."

"I-I begged," they heard. They all turned to the entrance of the bunk area to see Lauren standing there, Dinah standing behind her. The tall girl gently pushed Lauren forward. Lauren's eyes shifted around the room before stopping at Camila's.

Camila stared into Lauren's eyes. The eyes she fell in love, were a dull color. They no longer had their shine. They didn't have what made them special. They didn't have their spark.

"B-begged?" Ally asked, a quiver in her voice.

Camila's eyes stayed on Lauren's. They just stared at each other. Camila watched as Lauren's eyes filled with tears.

"I-I didn't want to, to cheat," Lauren whispered. "B-but I couldn't fight him. I begged for him to stop, but he, he just wouldn't stop."

Camila felt a lump in her throat as she heard what came out of Lauren's mouth. She stood up, her eyes wide. "Y-you—"

"I didn't mean to," Lauren cried, her body trembling. Dinah pulled the older girl into her arms. Lauren looked smaller, and it broke Camila's heart.

"Wh-why didn't you tell us? Me?"

Lauren shook her head. "I-I tried."

Camila remembered. Lauren did try, but she was too angry to listen to her. Camila took a step towards the broken girl. "Lauren—"

"I hurt you. I hurt you and I killed my baby. I-I didn't even get a chance to hold my baby," Lauren sobbed. Camila knew that the green-eyed girl would have been on the ground if it weren't for Dinah. "I deserved it."

"No!" Camila snapped, anger coursing through her body. "You did  _not_  deserve it. You did  _not_  deserve to be raped."

Lauren winced at the word.

"Lauren, you didn't deserve any of that. You were attacked, it's not your fault," Camila said, a little softer. "You are a wonderful girl. And I'm sorry I didn't listen to you."

Lauren's sobbing had calmed down. She slowly pushed herself from Dinah and looked at Camila.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I know what I said was mean, and I didn't mean it," Camila whispered, taking a step forward and grabbing the other girl's hand.

Lauren shrugged. "You weren't the only one."

Camila shook her head. "They are all wrong. They don't know you. They don't know the truth. And if they did, they would take it back, like I do."

Camila wrapped her arms around the other girl. "I miss you."

Camila heard Lauren inhale deeply. She felt the taller girl's hold tightened. "I miss you too."

-

Normani and the other girls sat there, as Lauren told them of what she remembered that night. She told him how a guy wouldn't leave her alone. She was only going to have one drink and then go back to Camila. But after a while, the drink had started to taste different. She had stumbled to Normani, wanting to go home, but was sent away. The guy who kept bothering her returned, but Lauren wasn't able to push him away when he started to kiss her. He dragged her to the male restroom where he, in Lauren's words,  _fucked her raw_.

Lauren said she remembered begging him to stop. She remembered trying to get her arms to move so she could push him off, but they didn't work. She remembered telling him that she had a girlfriend. But that only made him go faster and harder.

She didn't remember the end. She didn't remember him finishing inside of her. She didn't remember that last kiss he gave her. She didn't remember being left on the floor of the restroom.

But she did remember a worker waking her up. She dragged herself to the hotel. She tried to forget, but after a few days of morning sickness, she knew that it wasn't a nightmare. She told him how she wanted to die because of what happened. And it only got worse after losing Camila. And if the other girls didn't hover over her, she probably would have tried something after losing her unborn child.

Normani couldn't help but feel guilty. If only she had listened to Lauren instead of paying attention to an random guy. They wouldn't be in this situation. Lauren and Camila would still be going strong. Lauren wouldn't be the broken girl in front of her. Camila would have never been heartbroken.

"Mani?" she heard. She looked up to see everyone staring at her.

"Yeah?"

"I-it wasn't your fault. I-I could have gone to anyone. I-I could have left with Camila."

" _No_. It wasn't anyone's fault, okay?" Camila said, glaring at everyone. The girl was sitting away from everyone. She had wanted to sit next to Lauren, but the other girl said she had to sit alone if she was going to tell them her story. "You didn't ask for that monster to drug you. And  _you_  didn't ask for it to happen. It's that  _monster_ 'sfault. No one asked for it, okay?"

Normani nodded, as she wiped the tears in her eyes. She stood up and went to hug Lauren. Lauren trembled as something inside of her broke. She finally let go and cried in Normani's arms.


	3. Part 3 (Original)

It had been a few weeks since the five girls had the talk. Unfortunately, they weren't able to do anything about the guy who assaulted Lauren. They didn't know who it was. But they were able to get people to stop sending Lauren all the hate. They had said that Lauren was a victim (and the girl hated that) and that she didn't deserve what she was getting. A lot of people had backed off. Some people had even apologized.

Lauren and Camila weren't together. But they did spend a lot of time together. Whenever Lauren was down, Camila was right there with her, picking her back up. If Lauren needed to talk, Camila was there to listen. She was there to wipe the tears. She was there to soothe Lauren back to sleep after nightmares.

It was a process. Lauren still felt at fault. She still felt like she deserved it, but the other girls were always there to make sure that what she was thinking was wrong. They were there.

Ally had been watching all that happen. she had been there to see it all happen. She watched as Lauren got her confidence back. She watched as Lauren slowly opened up about what she was feeling, about what happened that night.

Ally was proud, as Lauren came out of the shell she created.

"Breakfast," Ally exclaimed, hearing a few sets of footsteps head towards her.

"Thanks mom," Dinah said, a smirk on her face.

Ally rolled her eyes as she sat down. The other three girls sat down at the table as well. As always, Camila sat down next to Lauren.

Ally could see that they were holding hands under the table. She couldn't help but smile at that.

"What's the plan for today?" Normani asked, looking around the table.

Dinah and Camila shrugged, mouths full. Lauren stared at her food.

"Lo?" Normani asked, her voice softer.

Lauren looked up, a small frown on her face. "What?"

"Is everything okay?" Ally asked, watching as everyone turned her attention to Lauren.

The girl nodded her head. "Yeah. It's just, today would have been the day that I could find out what-"

The girls hearts broke, knowing what she was talking about. They were going to find out if the baby was going to be a boy or girl. They all looked at each other, not sure what to say to her. Ally didn't know what to say to make the other girl feel better.

"Lauren?"

"C-can I go to my bunk?" the green eyed girl asked, looking up at Ally.

The older girl nodded.

"Do you want me to go to with you?" Camila asked, frowning slightly.

"N-no, I want to be alone for a second."

Camila nodded and the three girls watched as Lauren left, before realizing that Lauren hadn't eaten.

"Hope she gets better," Camila whispered.

Ally stared at the girl, knowing that she still loved the other cuban. She could see how much the girl wished she could be there for Lauren.

-

"Thank you!" Dinah shouted as the girls walked off stage. They had finished a show and were set to start moving to the next city. All the girls went to their dressing room to relax before they needed to be in the tour bus.

"So, Mani and I were thinking," Ally started, staring at Lauren.

Camila frowned. She didn't know what Ally was going to say, but grabbed Lauren's hand.

"Maybe you should see someone," Normani continued.

"S-see someone? I-I'm not crazy though," Lauren said, frowning.

Ally shot up. "No, we don't mean it like that. We just thought maybe you'd want to talk to someone about what you've been through."

"I-I don't," Lauren started, her eyes shifting to Camila.

"If you want to," Camila told her, "but I think it can help you."

Lauren looked down to their connected hands before nodding. "I-I guess so."

Ally smiled. "Don't worry. You just have to try it. If not, you don't have to go back."

Lauren did go a few days later on a day off. And she was able to get so much out of her chest. The other four girls waited for her in the waiting room. They were there to hold her when she walked out and cried. They held her as she released all the emotions the session had brought forward.

Camila was so happy when Lauren decided to book another session. She knew it meant Lauren did want to get better and she was able to handle what she was feeling better.

They all went to the hotels. Normani, Ally, and Dinah went to go get food, leaving Camila and an emotion Lauren alone. Camila was leaning back against the bed frame with Lauren laying down perpendicular to her, her head on Camila's lap. Camila's hand run through Lauren's black locks.

Lauren looked at Camila. "Do you think I'll ever be who I was?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"I miss her. I miss who I was."

"I miss her too. But I know the person you are going to be when you get past this will be even better."

"Do you miss us?" Lauren asked, looking away.

Camila frowned. "Yeah. I loved, I love you. I wish I had listened to you that day. I wish I had gotten my head out of my ass and realized that you were hurting and it wasn't normal."

"Do you think if you listened my baby would still be alive?"

Camila froze. She felt her heart stop. Lauren had stopped taking care of herself  _because_  of her. It was her fault Lauren had a miscarriage.

"Lo, I-I'm so sorry, it's my fault," Camila whispered, looking down at Lauren.

Lauren sat up, frowning. "No, I-I didn't mean it like that. I, I just, no. Camz, it wasn't, it was my fault. You-you had no,  _no_."

Camila looked at Lauren. "B-but if I had listened, you would still be pregnant."

Lauren shrugged. "We talked about it. During therapy. We talked about the pregnancy. And, we, she said, I mean-"

"Breath Lo," Camila whispered.

Lauren did just that. She took a deep breath. "I didn't  _like_  how it happened, but I loved my baby. I didn't do what I had to keep  _it_ , I hate calling my baby it, but i can't say he or her."

"If you had your baby, what would you want it to be?"

"A girl. I wanted a girl."

"It's a she then."

Lauren nodded. "Okay. I didn't do what I had to keep her healthy. But I know I wouldn't be able to take care of her. I wasn't able to take care of myself. And I wasn't going to tell you what happened, I was going to do it alone. It wasn't meant to be. I miss her, I wish I was able to hold her, but I wasn't able to keep her safe."

"Adoption?"

Lauren shook her head. "No. I knew if I held her I was never going to give her away."

"The next time you get pregnant, it will be because you want to, you are stable. And hopefully, we'll be married."

"We?"

Camila smiled. "In the future. When you are better. I want to give us another try. You never cheated on me. I was never able to move on from you. I love you Lauren. I love you with everything. And I want to be your wife. And I do mean it."


	4. Part 2 (Alternate)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When originally posted, there was comments about Lauren easily forgiving Camila and the girls, so I made a new ending.

 

It had been a few weeks since Lauren lost her unborn baby. She had closed herself up. The girls tried to help her, tried to talk to her, but Lauren always pushed them away. She'd scream and curse them out. As hurt as the other four girls were, they understood.

Camila felt her heart break whenever Lauren snapped. And she couldn't help but feel horrible, wondering if that was how Lauren fault when Camila snapped, calling her names.

But Camila was still angry.

Yes, Lauren lost her baby.

Yes, Lauren was abandoned.

But Lauren cheated.

Lauren chose to break Camila's heart.

So there were moments Lauren would scream at them, telling them things with anger in her voice, and Camila would respond just as angry. Lauren always stormed away, something in her eyes.

But it had been a few weeks since the loss of the baby and Camila's anger towards Lauren was changing. She could see how distraught the girl was, how she wasn't who she was. Camila was worried about the girl. She was always alone. She was always sleeping. She barely went out.

(Lauren had quit social media. She was too angry to try to reconnect with former fans that turned on her within seconds. Her last tweet was ' _I hope you're happy._ ')

"Lauren cheated on me, and I feel bad for her. How is that fair?" Camila snapped, throwing her pillow against the wall.

Camila, Dinah, Ally and Normani were in the front of the tour bus, trying to watch a movie. But it was hard when they knew the fifth member of their group as hurting and it was all their fault.

"Just lost her unborn child Mila," Normani said, shaking her head.

"I know that! And believe me, I wish she didn't. But she chose to have unprotected sex with some random guy!"

"We get that you are hurting, so is she," Ally tried, pulling Camila into her arms.

"I just wish she never cheated on me,"  
Camila whispered, wiping the tears in her eyes.

"I didn't want to," a voice said from the entry way.

The four girls turned to see Lauren standing there. Her eyes were red from crying, her arms around her body as is she was holding herself together.

"Then why did you?" Camila asked, frowning.

"Now you want to listen?" Lauren scoffed, shaking her head.

Camila shook her head. "You told me you were pregnant! That meant you had sex with someone who wasn't me!"

"I didn't want to!"

"Lauren?" Ally whispered, sitting up, there was something in her voice.

"But you did!" Camila snapped, shaking her head.

"I didn't want to! I said no!" Lauren cried, trembling in her spot.

Camila froze. She had a frown on her face, as she stared at Lauren. "Wh-what?"

"I didn't want to sleep with him. He just would stop," Lauren cried, shaking her head.

Camila stayed silent. She didn't know what to say. She just stared at Lauren, who started pacing.

Normani stood up. She took a step towards Lauren, while whispering her name.

Lauren looked at Normani with broken eyes. "No."

"We didn't know Lo," Dinah told her, tears in her eyes.

Frowning, Lauren turned to Dinah. "You never asked."

"Lauren," Ally tried, moving towards the girl.

"I was raped! I  _needed_  you but you didn't listen! You just forgot about me! All of you!"

"I'm sorry," Camila cried, her body shaking as sobs tried to escape her.

Lauren turned her attention to her ex. "I'm not a slut anymore?"

Camila flinched. "I didn't mean it."

"You did. The second you all thought I hurt your precious Camila you all dropped me. Great friends I have," Lauren said, shaking her head.

The green eyed girl just left the bus, telling them she wanted to be left alone.

-

Dinah held Camila while the girl cried. Normani watched as Camila choked in with her sobs.

"The signs were there," Ally whispered, shaking her head, tear tracks under her eyes.

"None of us saw them. I think we preferred to think Lauren hurt Camila rather than someone hurting Lauren," Normani whispered, turning to look Camila.

"We were supposed to be a group, but we turned our back on our own. What kind of friends does that make us?"

"When do you think it happened?" Normani asked, wiping the tears in her eyes.

"A couple of months ago. It was after a show. I think we went to a bar," Dinah answered from her seat, while she ran her hand through Camila's hair.

"There was a guy who wouldn't stop bothering her. She looked uncomfortable the whole time," Ally added.

Normani remembered that night. She looked up. "She told me she wanted to go home. She was a little out of it, but she wasn't drunk. I told her to wait a while more. If I had listened-"

"No Mani, it wasn't your fault. She disappeared that night, but none of us tried to search for her," Ally whispered. "I promised your parents I would protect you guys, and I couldn't keep my promise."

"What happens now?" Dinah asked, looking at the girls.

"We try to prove that we are sorry. We try to show her we aren't going anywhere. We can just hope she can forgive us," Camila whispered, her voice filled with exhaustion.

Dinah pulled her closer.

"It's not surprising Lauren lost her baby," Ally told them, running her hand through her hair. "She was dealing with the ra- with  _it_. And she was dealing with the fact that she had no one on her side, we all turned our back to her. It must have been a lot of stress."

"We killed her baby," Camila muttered, her eyes gazing over. "It's our fault."

It was silent after that. They all just let the facts of what had happened hit them, as they waited for Lauren to come home.

She came home a few hours later. There was a small scent of weed surrounding her. She was also sightly intoxicated.

The girls managed to get Lauren to sit down and tell them what had happened.

Normani and the other girls sat there, as Lauren told them of what she remembered that night. She told him how a guy wouldn't leave her alone. She was only going to have one drink and then go back to Camila. But after a while, the drink had started to taste different. She had stumbled to Normani, wanting to go home, but was sent away. The guy who kept bothering her returned, but Lauren wasn't able to push him away when he started to kiss her. He dragged her to the male restroom where he, in Lauren's words,  _fucked her raw_.

Lauren said she remembered begging him to stop. She remembered trying to get her arms to move so she could push him off, but they didn't work. She remembered telling him that she had a girlfriend. But that only made him go faster and harder.

She didn't remember the end. She didn't remember him finishing inside of her. She didn't remember that last kiss he gave her. She didn't remember being left on the floor of the restroom.

But she did remember a worker waking her up. She remembered dragged herself to the hotel. She tried to forget, but after a few days of morning sickness, she knew that it wasn't a nightmare. She told him how she wanted to die because of what happened.

"We are really sorry Lauren," Dinah told her.

Lauren gave her a small smile. "Aren't we all?"

She then just walked to her bunk and closed the curtain. Leaving the other four to think about what had happened.


	5. Part 3 (Alternate)

 

_Fifth Harmony Cancels Tour Dates._

_Fifth Harmony's Lauren Jauregui Loses Child._

_Fifth Harmony Taking Break for Personal Reasons._

_Fifth Harmony's Lauren Jauregui Sexually Assaulted._

_Fifth Harmony's Lauren Jauregui Was Pregnant By Rapist's Child._

Lauren couldn't breath as she read the headlines. It had been three weeks since she blew up on her bandmates, and she hadn't talked to them since.

She clicked the last link, and it took her to a gossip website.

_As you all know, our Camren hearts were shattered when it was revealed Fifth Harmony group members, Camila Cabello and Lauren Jauregui, broke up. Soon after, Jauregui's representatives came out stating that the 19 year old singer was pregnant. A few months later, Jauregui lost the child due to stress._

_After losing her baby, Jauregui tweeted out "I hope you're happy" before deleting her social media. This tweet was directed to those angry fans who wished for the death of her unborn child._

_Sources close to Jauregui have stated at she never cheated on her three year relationship with Cabello. This source stated that Jauregui was sexually assaulted at an afterparty, resulting in her pregnancy._

_Was the sexual assault the reason Cabello broke up with Jauregui? Did Cabello know Jauregui was raped?_

_Neither Jauregui nor Cabello have released a statement._

_The hashtags #WeAreSorryLauren and #CamilaIsTwoFace have been trending._

_Stay tune if you want to know more._

Lauren threw her phone across the room, watching it smash against the wall.

Why couldn't people leave it alone?

Lauren took a deep breath, before curling on her bed and closing her eyes. She just wanted everything to be over. Her pain to just stop already.

-

Lauren groaned, as she opened her eyes. She looked up, seeing Taylor standing there.

"I think Camila needs you," Taylor said, frowning.

"Why?" Lauren asked, frowning.

Taylor gave Lauren her phone. She saw that the twitter app was opened. She read the tweets as she gasped.

They were tweets directed at Camila, with the hashtag from the article.

They were stating at Camila was the reason Lauren's baby was dead. They were saying that Camila should have been the one to be raped. They were hating on her for breaking up with Lauren when she needed her.

She was getting a lot of hate, and Lauren couldn't look at the app anymore.

She gave it back to Taylor and laid back on the bed.

"You're not going to do anything?" Taylor asked, looking down at Lauren.

The green eyed girl look up at Taylor, not responding.

"Look, we all know how they turned their back on you, but you're doing the same. This makes you just as bad as them."

Lauren continued to stare at Taylor until the younger girl huffed and walked away.

Lauren sighed and grabbed her phone, before texting a number.

-

Ally knocked on the door. She smiled softly when she saw who opened it.

"Ally, hi," Sofi said, grinning.

"Hey Sofi, is Camila home?"

Sofi's face was wiped off her face. "Yeah, but all she does is cry in her room."

"I'm going to try and help her, okay?"

"Okay," Sofi said, letting Ally into the house.

The older girl walked to Camila's room and knocked on the door.

"I'm fine mom," a broken voice called out.

Ally walked inside and took in the sight. Camila was on her bed, under all her blankets.

"Camila," Ally whispered, causing Camila's head to snap to the door.

"A-Ally, wh-what are you doing here?" the younger girl asked, sitting up.

"I'm here to check up on you," Ally said, moving to sit on the bed.

Camila wiped her eyes. "I'm fine."

"No you're not."

Camila stared at Ally for a second before crying. Ally wrapped her arms around the younger girl.

"The comments will stop," Ally whispered, rubbing Camila's arm.

"It's not about the comments. They hurt. But Lauren had to go through this alone. We all saw what people were saying, and we did nothing. You and Normani and Dinah are trying to get people to stop, but none of us helped Lauren," Camila whispered, relaxing in Ally's arms.

"Have you talked to her?"

"She hates me."

"She texted me saying that you needed someone."

Camila looked up at Ally. "She did?"

Ally nodded.

"They say I killed Lauren's baby," Camila whispered, staring at her bed.

"You didn't," Ally whispered, looking down at Camila.

"I added to her stress. I broke her heart, and treated her like crap. Stress caused her miscarriage. I caused her stress. I killed her baby."

"Camila, we all caused her stress. It wasn't just you. We all feel guilty. We all wish things could have been different," Ally said, frowning slightly.

"Do you think she'll ever forgive us?"

"I wouldn't put it past her if she didn't. What we did, it was fucked up. We really hurt her."

"I called her a slut. When I broke up with her, I said I wouldn't be in a relationship with a slut. I told her she was dead to me. I wish I could take it back."

"People say things they don't mean when they are angry," Ally told her.

"She was angry with us and not once did she say something really mean."

Camila started to cry again, and Ally just held her. She rocked them until Camila's breathing even out.

Ally sat there, wondering if things would ever be fixed again.

-

Camila looked across the table to see Lauren sitting there. She wanted to reach over and touch her hand, but the other girl looked to be in her own world.

Dinah reached over and grabbed Camila's hand. The shorter girl looked at her best friend and smiled.

Simon walked into the room.

"Hello girls," he said, smiling at them, before stopping at Lauren. "I'm sorry for what happened. If there is anything we can to help, don't be afraid to ask."

Lauren gave him a small nod, before turning her attention to her hands.

"What is the meaning of this?" Normani asked, frowning.

Simon sighed. "The future of Fifth Harmony."

This caught everyone's attention.

"It's not surprise that there has been some, unwanted attention. And there has been some tension within the ground," he said, signaling the fact that Dinah, Ally, Normani and Camila sat on one side of the table while Lauren sat on the other. "This won't be in my hands. You girls will decide if you wish to continue on as a band. You'll have a chance to take solo careers if you wish to split up."

Camila looked around the room, seeing lawyers standing around the room. She looked at her fellow bandmates, before turning to Lauren.

"We'll give you until the end of the week to decide. We will be behind whatever you girls decide," Simon told them, before standing up and walking out of the room with the lawyers, leaving the five members of the girl group alone.

Four of the five looked at each other, before turning to the fifth member who was still staring at her own hands.

-

_Is Fifth Harmony Breaking Up?_

_Inside sources say that the band may be breaking up. We'll be finding out within a week._

 


	6. Part 4 (Alternate)

 

_Former member of Fifth Harmony, Lauren Jauregui returns to music after a year break. Read Lauren's first interview since leaving Fifth Harmony below._

**_Interviewer_ ** _: Lauren, How are you doing today?_

**_Jauregui_ ** _: I'm good, thank you._

**_Interview_ ** _: So it's been a year since you've sang anything, since you've released anything, how does it feel to be back?_

**_Jauregui_ ** _: It's different. I mean, I remember the feeling of being in the studio, of the whole process, but it's just different. I was in a girl group before, now I'm just me. It's going to be different either way._

**_Interviewer_ ** _: You disappeared to take some time to yourself, do you think things are different now?_

**_Jauregui_ ** _: Of course it's going to be different. I'm not the same girl that started out in this business. Things happened, and I had to grow up. I had to take time to take care of myself. What I went through, I'm not the only one. And it changes people._

**_Interviewer_ ** _: How different will your new music be from the things you've done before?_

**_Jauregui_ ** _: When I was singing with other girls, the songs we made had to fit all of us. It had to be a genre that all of us could excel in. Now, I do music that will fit me._

**_Interviewer_ ** _: Talking about the other girls, they also changed up their music, have you heard any of their things?_

**_Jauregui_ ** _: Of course I did. My leaving the band was something we all believed should happen. I support them in every way I can, and their new music is great. It's more them._

**_Interviewer_ ** _: No one, except you girls, know why you decided to leave, and I'm not going to ask why, but was it mutual?_

**_Jauregui_ ** _: As I said earlier, it was the right thing to do with the circumstances. The girls have their careers, and I couldn't be a part of it. I wasn't in the right head space. There was so much going on with me, that I had to leave._

**_Interviewer_** _: And your song,_ Alive _, can you tell us about it?_

 ** _Jauregui_** _: Yes, so this song helped me early on in my healing process. And if you don't know, last year, I was- I was attacked sexually. And I ended up pregnant as a result. Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage. Because of this and other reasons, I left Fifth Harmony for myself. I had to heal, I had to let go of all the hurt I felt. So I started writing._ Alive _was the first song I wrote. I wrote because I was alive. So much happened, and I made it out of it okay. I survived, and I'm not giving up. I could have easily stopped making music, stopped singing, but I'm not going to let him win. I'm going to live and be happy for myself._

**_Interviewer_ ** _: After all the hate you received on social media, you chose to come back, why?_

**_Jauregui_ ** _: Not everyone gave up on me. Within all that hate, there were a few that still believed in me. Hate should never win. Hate should never stop anyone from doing what they love. I'm not going to let hate win. I know people will twist my words, they will say things to try to hurt me, but I'm not going to let them. I'm going to keep singing for me, for those fans that never gave up on me, for those who went through what I went and are surviving. This is for us._

**_Interviewer_ ** _: Last question, could there be a collaboration with Fifth Harmony?_

**_Jauregui_ ** _: At this moment, no. I want to concentrate on my own career. But maybe in the future._

**_Interviewer_ ** _: Thank you for speaking to us._

**_Jauregui_ ** _: Thank you for having me._

_Lauren Jauregui's_ Alive _is out now. Proceeds will go to RAINN, an anti-sexual violence organization._

Camila closed the article, and smiled. It had been a year since she saw Lauren. It had been a year since Lauren said she couldn't be in Fifth Harmony, and the other four girls accepted that fact.

But it still hurt, knowing that Camila shattered Lauren's heart into tiny pieces. Camila could never forgive herself for what she did. But she knew letting Lauren go was best for the older girl.

She took out her phone and looked at Lauren's number. Her finger hovered over the call button.

"Mila? It's almost time to go out," Dinah said, looking at her older friend.

Camila looked up, a small smile on her face. "Be there."

Camila left her contacts and entered her Twitter. (After Lauren left Fifth Harmony, the hate on social media got worse, before mellowing out.)

_I'm proud of you. Hope one day we can move forward and be what we once were._

She smiled, sending out that tweet.

-

Lauren saw what Camila had tweeted out. She, along with a lot of other people, know who that was for.

Lauren closed her app, looking up at the woman sitting in front of her.

"Are you going to forgive them?" the woman said, clipboard at hand. (Lauren had started going to therapy to deal with the emotions of what she went though. She had gotten better, but her management wanted her to have another session after her first interview.)

Lauren looked at her phone. "I do. I don't think we'll ever go back to how we were, and I don't think I can ever trust them again, but I did love them. We were in it together, and I can't forget that. But it's been a year, and I can't let go of my hurt if I hold on to the anger."

"And Camila? Do you think you'll ever start a relationship with her again?"

"No. I can be friends with her, but it will never be anything more. When she hurt me, it  _destroyed_ me, and I can't go through that again."

"How does it feel, being back in the spot light? You do know everyone will be watching you, right?"

Lauren nodded her head. "I'm ready. I want to show everyone who I am. I want them to know that I am stronger than I was before. I want girls and boys to look up to me. I want them to watch."

Lauren's therapist smiled. "You'll take them by storm."

Lauren looked down at her phone. She nodded her head. "I'm doing what I love, nothing and no one will stop me."

 


	7. Part 5 (Alternate)

 

Normani sat in the same seat she had three years before, when Fifth Harmony officially lost a member.

Simon had called for the girls to join him for a meeting. What they didn't expect was to see Lauren sitting on the chair she saw that day as well.

Normani and Lauren were best friends. So close. If Camila wasn't around, Lauren would go to Normani. As hurt as Normani was about Lauren leaving them, she knew it had to be done. As hurt as Normani was, Lauren was even more so.

Normani followed Lauren's career. She bought every single album or single Lauren released. She had all of Lauren's songs in her phone.

Lauren had released two albums,  _Alive_ and  _Moon_ _light_.

 _Alive_ was her favorite. It was the one that hit her the most.  _Alive_  was about Lauren's journey from her lowest. It was about how she lost everything to the point where she was finally about to find herself and move on.

 _Moonlight_  was amazing as well. It was mostly about the people in Lauren's lives. There were some tracks that were about Normani and the girls (especially Camila). But there were some lighter music as well.

It didn't outright say Normani and the other girls left Lauren, but it was there. You just had to really be listening for that.

Normani and the girls sat across Lauren. They looked at Simon, waiting for him to tell him what was happening.

They were very confused when he walked out without a word.

Lauren let out a laugh, and she shook her head.

Normani looked at Lauren, not sure why she was laughing.

"I called this meeting. He just helped me set it up."

Normani was confused.

"You girls look good," Lauren said, looking at the four.

"So do you. You look very healthy."

Lauren's hair was long again. It had it's shine. Her eyes were twinkling. Her face had color. She looked healthy. She smiled. "Yeah. I was able to put it behind me."

"We're glad," Ally whispered, a small smile on her face.

Lauren looked at the four, before stopping at Camila.

"I know you're wondering why I wanted to meet with you, but I wanted to personally tell you I forgive you. When you turned your back, it hurt. I made a mistake-"

Dinah was about to cut in, but Lauren held her hand up, stopping her.

"I made a mistake, even though it wasn't. All you girls knew was that I made mistake. And you stopped talking to me. You all would rather room together than share with me. You girls would tell me it was because I was pregnant. I know you couldn't look at me. The person who hurt Camila, who took her heart and shattered it. The thing was, I  _need_  one of you on my side. I was pregnant, I was scared, people were mean. I was so scared, but none of you saw that. It hurt. It hurt so bad to know that four years of friendship was so quickly forgotten. You all treated me like someone you  _had_  to deal with. I wasn't your friend anymore. I was just a pregnant co-worker.

"And then I lost the baby, and you all ran back. But it was too late. Did you know I hated myself so much? I wanted to die," Lauren told them, causing Camila to sob. Normani looked over to see tears streaming down Camila's face, but the girl made no movement to wipe them away. "I wanted to die, but I was pregnant and I wasn't going to let  _my_  baby suffer from that. But it did. It never saw the world. It never felt the sun hit it's skin. And I felt even worse."

"Suicide watch," Dinah whispered, wiping the tears on her eyes.

Lauren nodded. "Yeah, suicide watch. I'm shocked no one ever found out about that."

"People thought you disappeared to grieve about your baby," Ally told her, shrugging.

Lauren nodded her head. "Simon helped to make sure no one knew about it. But uh, yeah. I tried it. After I left you guys, I just hit rock bottom. Taylor found me in time. I think she hates me for making her find me, half dead."

"We're sorry," Dinah whispered, shaking her head.

"I know you are. I know you've all suffered, all the hate you got, especially after my album, which I didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't mean to make so many people hate you. I just, it felt right to release it," Lauren told them.

Ally shook her head. "It's okay. It was a great album. I love it."

Lauren smiled. "Thank you. I still listen to your things as well."

"You're forgiving us? After everything we did, for everything we made you feel, you are forgiving us?"

Lauren nodded. "Yeah. It's been three years. And I feel like it's time to move on."

"What does that mean for us?" Normani asked, a frown on her face.

"I want to try to be friends again. It'll take work for me to trust you girls again, but if you're willing to try," Lauren offered, looking at the four women in front of her.

"We'd love that," Ally answered, smiling.

Lauren nodded her head, smiling back. She looked around and saw Camila, who had been quiet the whole time.

"Do you guys think I can talk to Camila, alone?"

The three girls nodded, stood up, gave Lauren a hug (that took the most time, none of the girls wanted to let go) and then left.

-

Lauren had been watching Camila for some time. The other girl's eyes were glued to the ground, not once looking up. Lauren didn't like that.

"Camila," Lauren whispered, getting the other girl's attention.

Camila looked up, her eyes filled with her tears.

"It's okay Camila. I forgive you."

"I don't forgive myself," Camila said, her voice cracking.

"Why not?"

"I hurt you. I started all this. If I had just listened, we wouldn't be in this situation," Camila said, so much anger in her voice.

"You were a teen. You were a kid," Lauren said, a frown on her face.

"I still should have listened," Camila shot back.

"I know you had a lot of self-worth problems. I know you were always waiting for me to say I didn't want to. I know Camila. I know that doesn't justify what you said, but I understand. All your fears came to play. You're also hardheaded. I wish you would have let me explain, but you didn't. We can't change the past, but we can move forward."

"Can we?"

"It'll take work, but we can. Maybe have a Fifth Harmon ft. Lauren Jauregui song."

Camila smiled.

"These last three years, I've worked with my emotions and my anger. You didn't. I think it would do you some good to talk to someone about your guilt and emotions."

The younger girl nodded her head. "Are we ever going to go back to where we once were?"

Lauren shrugged. "Maybe. Only time can tell."

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you too. You were my Camz."

"And you were my Lolo."

"We'll be okay. It'll take time and effort, but I am sure we'll be okay."

"I never stopped loving you," Camila whispered, looking at Lauren who froze.

"I-I, I love you, but not like that."

"Oh," Camila said, looking down.

Lauren sighed. "I'm sorry."

Camila shook her head. "No. I  _fucked_  up. I know that."

"Camz," Lauren tried, but the younger girl shook her head.

"I want to be your friend. I want all of us to be friends again. If that is the only way to have you in our lives, I am willing to put my love for you in the back-burner."

"That's not fair," Lauren said, frowning.

"What we did to you wasn't fair, so let's call it even."

Lauren laughed. "Okay deal." She stood up and walked to Camila, who stood up. They wrapped their arms around each other. Lauren closed her eyes, feeling how Camila felt in her arms.

Camila pulled away. Camila raised her hand, her palm facing Lauren. "To the future. To our friendship."

Lauren placed her palm against Camila's. "To the future. Anything is possible. To whatever happens."

Lauren smiled at Camila, who smiled back. Both standing there, hand in hand, hoping for a good future, whether they get together or not.

 


End file.
